October Is All About Me: A Guide to Moving On

Oct 23, 2023 Ben Ortega

 

October is calling, and thanks to a trending TikTok movement and Drake's new album "For All the Dogs," it's delivering a message loud and clear: "October Is All About Me, Cause Your Turn Should Have Been Over."

No, this isn't about being self-centered; it's about self-care and reclaiming your narrative after a breakup.

Ready to make this October all about you?

What Does Slime You Out Mean?

Alright, let's break down "Slime You Out" from that Drake and SZA track. It's basically about hooking up with someone just for the physical stuff and then dipping without any emotional ties. Yeah, it sounds harsh, but it happens a lot these days. People get into something thinking it might lead somewhere, only to find out the other person was just in it for the moment.

This is on some situationship nonsense and frankly is kind of lame.

So here's a step-by-step guide to making October all about you.

Guide to Moving On: October is All About Me

Step 1: What's the Mood? Checking Your Emotional Vibe

If you've ever scrolled through TikTok feeling like you're the only one who's still grappling with a breakup, take a breath. You're not alone. What's crucial, though, is giving yourself permission to fully acknowledge your feelings, whatever they may be. It's not about comparison; it's about taking stock of your own emotional landscape. And let's be honest: Healing isn't a one-size-fits-all kind of deal. It's a personal journey, one that starts with understanding your own emotional state.

Why This Matters:

Taking the time to check in with yourself emotionally is like pausing to read a map on a long road trip. Without knowing where you currently stand, how can you navigate toward a happier, healthier you? By making this a regular practice, you'll be able to track your emotional shifts over time, recognize triggers, and also celebrate the small victories along the way. In short, you're not just staring at the rearview mirror; you're actively steering your own healing journey.

Actionable Step:

Here's what you can do: Take 15 minutes every day to jot down your thoughts, feelings, and moods in a dedicated journal. This is a judgment-free zone; write as freely as you can. Your goal is to pinpoint your emotional baseline for the day. Once you've done this for a week, go back and look for patterns. Are there specific times, places, or scenarios that trigger certain emotions? Do you notice any recurring themes? Make this practice a daily ritual to cultivate emotional self-awareness and to spot areas that need a bit more TLC.

Step 2: Hit the Mute Button: Why No Contact is Your New Best Friend

So you've tuned into your emotional frequency and you're getting a clearer sense of where you stand. Awesome first step. But let's talk about the static that can interfere with that signal: lingering contact with your ex. If the TikTok trend of making October all about you has taught us anything, it's that your well-being should be your top priority right now. That often means cutting off sources of emotional noise, at least for a while.

Why This Matters

Why go No Contact? Well, imagine trying to hear your favorite song on the radio but there's static interference muddying the tune. That's what staying in contact with an ex can do to your emotional clarity. You might think that you're strong enough to handle a text here and a "like" there, but each of these interactions can set you back in your healing journey. No Contact isn't about ignoring someone; it's about acknowledging that you need a defined space to heal and grow.

Actionable Step

Here's your game plan: Implement a No Contact rule with your ex for a minimum of 30 days. That means no texts, no calls, and definitely no checking up on their social media profiles. It's a digital and emotional detox rolled into one. Mark these 30 days on your calendar and make it a sacred period for your personal growth. Use this time to channel your focus inward, maybe even re-visit the emotional patterns you identified in your journal. By the end of the 30 days, not only will you have given yourself the space to heal, but you'll also gain a clearer perspective on what you truly want and need moving forward.

Step 3: Spot the Loop: Recognizing Relationship Red Flags

You've acknowledged your emotions, you've created some much-needed space with the No Contact rule, and now you're poised for a deeper level of self-awareness. It's time to examine those repeating patterns in your relationships. You know, the ones that feel like you're caught in a GIF that just won't stop looping? Well, October is the perfect time to hit 'pause' and ask yourself why these patterns keep playing out.

Why This Matters

Identifying relationship patterns is like troubleshooting a recurring glitch in your favorite app. If you don't figure out the root cause, you'll keep encountering the same issue. Only by understanding these cycles can you work toward breaking them. This is about more than just dodging relationship red flags; it's about understanding why you're drawn to them in the first place.

Actionable Step

Here's how you can tackle this: Dedicate a week's worth of your journaling sessions to unearthing these relationship loops. Look beyond the surface. Don't just note that you often feel neglected in relationships; dig deeper to understand why you might be choosing partners who aren't meeting your emotional needs. Are you afraid of intimacy? Do you struggle with self-worth? By pinning down these patterns, you're equipping yourself with the insights needed to break the cycle and choose relationships that genuinely nurture you.

Step 4: Tune into You: Embracing Self-Care as a Daily Ritual

You've mapped out your emotional terrain, set boundaries, and even cracked the code on your relationship loops. Now what? It's time to take all that newfound self-awareness and channel it into daily acts of self-care. Because let's be honest, if October is all about you, then every day should be a love letter to yourself.

Why This Matters

Self-care isn't a luxury; it's a necessity, especially when you're navigating the ups and downs of emotional healing. Think of it as your daily vitamin for the soul, essential for maintaining emotional health and resilience. It's not about self-indulgence but about self-preservation and personal growth.

Actionable Step

Get into the habit of integrating self-care into your daily routine. Start small: maybe it's a five-minute meditation in the morning or an evening walk to unwind. You could even add some specific shadow work prompts to your journaling to dive deeper into your subconscious. Build these activities into your schedule like you would any important appointment, because, honestly, what's more important than your own well-being?

By making self-care a daily ritual, you're not just surviving; you're thriving. You're taking all the self-awareness you've cultivated and using it to fuel a better, brighter you. And when you look back on this October, it'll be with a smile, knowing it was the month you truly made all about you.

Final Thoughts

As October winds down, don't think of it as the end but rather as a launchpad for your ongoing journey of personal growth and self-care. You've built a solid foundation this month—from emotional check-ins and establishing a No Contact rule, to uncovering relationship patterns and making self-care a daily ritual. Use the insights and habits you've cultivated as a blueprint for the months ahead.

Review your journal, set new goals, and keep the focus squarely on you, not just for October but for every month that follows. After all, if October was good for you, imagine the transformative power of a year made up of 'Octobers.'


Ben Ortega
I went into the field of neuroscience not realising the profound connection between science, spirituality and ancient tradition. I share some fascinating connections between science and spirituality that will hopefully shift your perspective on what it means to be spiritual.

More articles